GeneralHealth Info Home
Developing a Relationship with Yourself
Illustration by George Ulrich
You will never regret learning more and more about developing a relationship with yourself. Learning
to take care of yourself when you feel alone is an exciting and important skill to develop. Here's
some questions to start with as you develop a relationship with yourself.
What do I need right now? Do I need to be around people or do I need a break from them? Do I need
to be active or quiet?
What comforts me? Certain music or movies on video? Writing in a journal? Going out for exercise
or curling up with a blanket, herbal tea and a good book?
What to do when I want to be with people, but no one's around? It can feel more soothing to be
around other people who are also alone. Think about some places where others are also alone. Perhaps
it's at a YWCA where you work out, or a track where you could go for a run. Perhaps it's a bookstore
or music store that encourages browsing. Another idea is to go to a library, or to take your dog for a
walk. Perhaps you know a child you could take to the playground.
Start a list. In your journal start a list of things that you like to do when you're alone.
Add to it as you notice, even when you're not lonely, what you like. Also start a list of people
that you enjoy being with and add to it regularly. It could come in helpful on days when you'd like
What if I feel a lot more than "a little" lonely?
If you are feeling suicidal or unsafe now or need immediate help:
Dial 911 or the operator and just ask
for help or go to your nearest Emergency Room
If you are not sure if your loneliness is serious, find an adult to talk to. An adult can help direct you to a professional to answer
that question. Treatment and help are available to help young women who are or may be depressed.